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Old Folks Like Sex A LOT…& Other Lessons Learned at All The Sex I’ve Ever Had

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As luck would have it, this year I managed to get my ass in gear for Luminato. Of course, I only made it out for one of the many shows and events up on offer for its 10 day run (cause I’m a busy, busy girl don’t you know). But what a show it was.

I stumbled upon Mammalian Diving Reflex‘s All the Sex I’ve Ever Had: The International Edition, after hearing Darren  O’Donnell and Bette Logan, one of the cast members of the show, being interviewed on the radio. Now being a woman who loves to talk about sex, I was immediately intrigued by the name of the show. But as the interview went on and I learned that play’s international cast (hailing from Switzerland, Czech Republic, Germany, Singapore, the UK, the US and Canada) featured seven saucy senior citizens – who would be dishing the ‘dirt’ on their sex lives no less – I was completely sold. Before the interview was even finished, I had rounded up two of my best girls and scooped three tickets online. And we weren’t disappointed.

Hattie Louise (pictured on the left) and Morag, brought all kinds of funny via their vivid and (in Hattie's case) raucous storytelling.

The Canadian premiere of All the Sex I’ve Ever Had was a revelation. The cast was a lively bunch who weaved the tales of their individual sexual histories together in a continuous series of short vignettes; beginning with the birth of the oldest cast member in 1939 right through to 2014. The audience was treated to stories detailing the awkwardness of first times; the joys of falling in love; the sadness and inevitability of endings; the powerful force of lust; the pain of losing one’s sense of self within a relationship; the trauma of being sexually victimized; and virtually everything else connected to living life as a sexual being.

Memorable moments included, listening to Helga detail the trauma of the physical and sexual violence she experienced in her marriage;

HattieLouise cavalierly drop bombs about his incestuous past; Uli dramatically describe the premature endings of his first few sexual romps; Madame Goh (pictured above) compare her orgasm-less sex life to the thrill of having a good bowel motion; and Morag (my fave hands down) talk about how hard she fought not to harm her own child while struggling with post partum depression. The cast’s wild and wonderful accounts of their sexual histories had me (and I imagine much of the audience) caught up in whirlwind of emotions. I laughed, sighed, clutched my (imaginary) pearls, and even got teary-eyed more than a few times. Their stories were funny, evocative, heart-wrenching, eye-opening, moving and above all so very (squirm-in-your-seat-no-matter-how-sex-pozzie-you-think-you-are) real.

Nevertheless, it was in your face reality of all that was shared, by the cast representing different gender identities, sexual orientations, nationalities that struck me. Hard hitting truths, including the fact that:

Despite outward appearances and individual proclivities, as social and sexual beings, we humans are much more alike than we are different.

Few (if any) ‘happily ever afters’ are created without a whole lot of stick-with-it-ness and commitment to making it work.

Helga and UIi, two of the over-sharing cast members of the play.

Sexual violence is very prevalent.

Loneliness has a huge impact on the human spirit and the way many of us present in relationships.

Contrary to popular belief, getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you crave sexual contact any less…FACT.

So good people, if the stars align in your favour and All the Sex I’ve Ever Had rolls into your town, I urge you to go and see it. You’ll definitely be glad you did.

S

P.S. If you haven’t checked out our latest podcast, you can listen to it here.


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